Christmas Survival

By Janet Bodnar

 

 

 

 

Santa’s mailbag isn’t the only one that overflows this time of year. As the kids send their wish lists to the North Pole, I hear from parents and grandparents — most of whom are beseeching advice about how to get through the holiday season without going overboard. Here are a dozen answers to fequently asked money questions to help keep your finances in tact and to ward of greed in your household.

My kids make wish lists a mile long. What should I do? What you shouldn’t do is buy everything they ask for. Kids may want lots of stuff, but they don’t actually expect to get it. Tell them point-blank which items aren’t in the cards, and have them rank, say, their top five choices among what’s left. It’s a good lesson in setting priorities. (Learn more about how to handle holiday wish lists.)

When we tell our kids they can’t have something, they say they’ll just ask Santa for it. Tell your kids that you and Santa are a team. He’s not about to go against your wishes — and jeopardize his job — by bringing gifts that you deem too expensive, dangerous or otherwise objectionable.

Should we give our kids money to buy family gifts, or should they use their own? Kids feel better about using their own cash, whether it’s from an allowance, savings, money they’ve earned for doing extra chores or even a holiday bonus if you think they’ve managed money well during the year. If they’re short on cash, encourage them to chip in with siblings or to make handmade gifts.

I just got my son’s wish list, and nearly every item tops $100. What’s a parent on a budget to do? It’s important to establish limits up front. Decide how much you’re willing to spend and tell your children. If your son stands firm on his wish list, there’s no better way to teach him the value of a buck than to encourage him ante up his own. You can always give him the fixed amount of cash or a gift card for him to put toward the item, and leave him to come up with the rest. And with a vested interest in what he buys, he’s more likely to appreciate and take care of it — or to realize it’s not worth the expense.

How can we get our kids to give to people who really need it? Have them do something hands-on, such as donating a gift through a local toy drive or participating in a charitable project such as running errands or shoveling snow for neighbors who are elderly or ill for no pay. Or, designate a container in which your children can deposit loose change. When the jar is full, they can donate the money to a charity. Learn more about teaching your kids the value of giving, and check out these 12 no- or low-cash ideas for donations.

As our kids get older, it’s tough to know what they’ll like. Is it too crass to give them money? Kids old enough to buy their own clothes and CDs welcome money. If it’s feasible, give them cash instead of a check; it’s easier for kids to spend. Gift cards from music and clothing stores are an alternative, but make sure the kids won’t be charged a penalty if they don’t use the cards right away.

Should I allow my kids to spend gifts of cash, or require them to save it? How about a little of both? Relatives who give financial gifts often do so because they’re not sure what to buy, and they actually prefer that kids spend the money on something they want or need. It’s no fun for anyone if kids have to whisk all the money off to the bank. However, it’s reasonable for you to require that kids save at least part of the money. Learn more about how to set up appropriate guidelines for your children.

How many gifts should a child get? You know you’ve bought too much stuff if you can’t remember what you hid where — and the kids get bored and walk away while opening their gifts.

How can I keep relatives from going overboard on buying gifts for my kids? Your child’s gift list may be a mile long, but you should never share the entire list with relatives. Whittle it down to ten or so (small) items and parcel them out. Better yet, suggest that they give your child a gift of their time and do something special with him or her, such as bake cookies or go to the zoo.

I can’t find a single toy for my 9-year-old daughter. She can’t come up with anything she wants, either. How do I hazard a guess without insulting her and wasting my money? Sadly, the so-called tween market is outgrowing traditional kid things, such as toys and children’s entertainment, at an earlier age. They’re rushing (or being rushed) into teen interests, such as music and brand-name clothes. But don’t give up on your daughter’s childhood. Poke around stores and flip through catalogs for inspiration. A craft kit or board game might be just the ticket. Is there something she might like to collect? Tap an interest in stuffed pigs or nesting dolls (two favorites of my daughter), and you will have gift ideas for years to come. (See Toys for Tweens for more ideas.)

My kids asked me if we are rich or poor. How do I respond? Usually, what kids are really after with this question is a general idea of how you’re doing — and whether now is a good time to ask you for the bike they have their eye on, or why you refused to buy them something they want. One response is, “We have more money than some families but not as much as others.” Another approach: “We may not be rich, but we have enough money to buy the things we need with some left over to share.” Get more advice on how to explain your budget to your kids.

Are written thank-you notes from the kids really necessary? An email or phone call would be much easier. Every gift deserves a thank-you in some form, and a written note is the most desirable. It’s worth nagging your kids to sit down and write one — their expenditure of time is small compared with the large amounts of money lavished on them. Thank-you notes should be specific and mention the gift and how the child liked it. Hand-made cards are a nice touch, but not necessary. Email is acceptable as long as the children do their own hunting and pecking on the keyboard.

Thanksgiving History

First Thanksgiving

In 1621, the Plymouth colonists and Wampanoag Indians shared an autumn harvest feast which is acknowledged today as one of the first Thanksgiving celebrations in the colonies. This harvest meal has become a symbol of cooperation and interaction between English colonists and Native Americans. Although this feast is considered by many to the very first Thanksgiving celebration, it was actually in keeping with a long tradition of celebrating the harvest and giving thanks for a successful bounty of crops. Native American groups throughout the Americas, including the Pueblo, Cherokee, Creek and many others organized harvest festivals, ceremonial dances, and other celebrations of thanks for centuries before the arrival of Europeans in North America.

Food preparation

Historians have also recorded other ceremonies of thanks among European settlers in North America, including British colonists in Berkeley Plantation, Virginia. At this site near the Charles River in December of 1619, a group of British settlers led by Captain John Woodlief knelt in prayer and pledged “Thanksgiving” to God for their healthy arrival after a long voyage across the Atlantic. This event has been acknowledged by some scholars and writers as the official first Thanksgiving among European settlers on record. Whether at Plymouth, Berkeley Plantation, or throughout the Americas, celebrations of thanks have held great meaning and importance over time. The legacy of thanks, and particularly of the feast, have survived the centuries as people throughout the United States gather family, friends, and enormous amounts of food for their yearly Thanksgiving meal.

What Was Actually on the Menu?

What foods topped the table at the first harvest feast? Historians aren’t completely certain about the full bounty, but it’s safe to say the pilgrims weren’t gobbling up pumpkin pie or playing with their mashed potatoes. Following is a list of the foods that were available to the colonists at the time of the 1621 feast. However, the only two items that historians know for sure were on the menu are venison and wild fowl, which are mentioned in primary sources. The most detailed description of the “First Thanksgiving” comes from Edward Winslow from A Journal of the Pilgrims at Plymouth, in 1621:

“Our harvest being gotten in, our governor sent four men on fowling, that so we might after a special manner rejoice together after we had gathered the fruit of our labors. They four in one day killed as much fowl as, with a little help beside, served the company almost a week. At which time, among other recreations, we exercised our arms, many of the Indians coming amongst us, and among the rest their greatest king Massasoit, with some ninety men, whom for three days we entertained and feasted, and they went out and killed five deer, which they brought to the plantation and bestowed upon our governor, and upon the captain, and others. And although it be not always so plentiful as it was at this time with us, yet by the goodness of God, we are so far from want that we often wish you partakersof our plenty.

Did you know that lobster, seal and swans were on the Pilgrims’ menu? Learn more…

1621 Harvest Feast

Seventeenth Century Table Manners:
The pilgrims didn’t use forks; they ate with spoons, knives, and their fingers. They wiped their hands on large cloth napkins which they also used to pick up hot morsels of food. Salt would have been on the table at the harvest feast, and people would have sprinkled it on their food. Pepper, however, was something that they used for cooking but wasn’t available on the table.

In the seventeenth century, a person’s social standing determined what he or she ate. The best food was placed next to the most important people. People didn’t tend to sample everything that was on the table (as we do today), they just ate what was closest to them.

Serving in the seventeenth century was very different from serving today. People weren’t served their meals individually. Foods were served onto the table and then people took the food from the table and ate it. All the servers had to do was move the food from the place where it was cooked onto the table.

Pilgrims didn’t eat in courses as we do today. All of the different types of foods were placed on the table at the same time and people ate in any order they chose. Sometimes there were two courses, but each of them would contain both meat dishes, puddings, and sweets.

Housewife prepares a meal in pilgrim village

More Meat, Less Vegetables
Our modern Thanksgiving repast is centered around the turkey, but that certainly wasn’t the case at the pilgrims’s feasts. Their meals included many different meats. Vegetable dishes, one of the main components of our modern celebration, didn’t really play a large part in the feast mentality of the seventeenth century. Depending on the time of year, many vegetables weren’t available to the colonists.

The pilgrims probably didn’t have pies or anything sweet at the harvest feast. They had brought some sugar with them on the Mayflower but by the time of the feast, the supply had dwindled. Also, they didn’t have an oven so pies and cakes and breads were not possible at all. The food that was eaten at the harvest feast would have seemed fatty by 1990’s standards, but it was probably more healthy for the pilgrims than it would be for people today. The colonists were more active and needed more protein. Heart attack was the least of their worries. They were more concerned about the plague and pox.

Surprisingly Spicy Cooking
People tend to think of English food at bland, but, in fact, the pilgrims used many spices, including cinnamon, ginger, nutmeg, pepper, and dried fruit, in sauces for meats. In the seventeenth century, cooks did not use proportions or talk about teaspoons and tablespoons. Instead, they just improvised. The best way to cook things in the seventeenth century was to roast them. Among the pilgrims, someone was assigned to sit for hours at a time and turn the spit to make sure the meat was evenly done.

Since the pilgrims and Wampanoag Indians had no refrigeration in the seventeenth century, they tended to dry a lot of their foods to preserve them. They dried Indian corn, hams, fish, and herbs.

Pilgram family at dinner

Dinner for Breakfast: Pilgrim Meals:
The biggest meal of the day for the colonists was eaten at noon and it was called noonmeat or dinner. The housewives would spend part of their morning cooking that meal. Supper was a smaller meal that they had at the end of the day. Breakfast tended to be leftovers from the previous day’s noonmeat.

In a pilgrim household, the adults sat down to eat and the children and servants waited on them. The foods that the colonists and Wampanoag Indians ate were very similar, but their eating patterns were different. While the colonists had set eating patterns–breakfast, dinner, and supper–the Wampanoags tended to eat when they were hungry and to have pots cooking throughout the day.

Source: Kathleen Curtin, Food Historian at Plimoth Plantation
All Photos Courtesy of Plimouth Plantation, Inc., Plymouth, Mass. USA.ca.